Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Alone With You - Matt Read

It's been a while since I've had time to write, let alone think. Medic school is over half-way done and I'm chomping at the bit to get back to my writing. In the mean time, one-shot's hold me over.

As soon as I heard this song, I knew I had to write a one-shot about it...

I don't see you laugh
You don't call me back
But you kiss me when you're drunk
I don't know your friends
Don't know where you've been
Why are you the one I want

Don't put your lips up to my mouth and tell me you can't stay
Don't slip your hand under my shirt and tell me it's okay
Don't say it doesn't matter cause it's gonna matter to me
I can't be alone with
You've got me out on the edge every time you call
And i know it would kill me if I fall
I can't be alone with you

Please don't chain that door
I can't win this war
Your body's like a pill I shouldn't take

Don't put your lips up to my mouth and tell me you can't stay
Don't slip your hand under my shirt and tell me it's okay
Don't say it doesn't matter cause it's gonna matter to me
I can't be alone with
You've got me out on the edge every time you call
And I know it would kill me if I fall
I can't be alone with you

I don't see you laugh
You don't call me back
But you kiss me when you're drunk…

Lizzie: I’m on my way over.
The back-light of my cellphone was like a warning light of what was to come.  Despite it only being Thursday night, it was obvious she was out on the town, trying to drown any memories of her day at work.  Not that I blamed her.  She dealt day in and day out with the scum-bags of society.
I only wished that she would choose to come to me before she drank, because I was certain she wouldn’t feel the need for a drop of alcohol if she allowed me to take care of her all the time.
I was addicted to Lizzie, like she was addicted to living life on the edge.
We had met at a downtown hot-spot about a year ago.  She actually broke up a fight that had started because some wanna-be hot-shot with beer muscles decided to start chirping me and a couple of my teammates about a bad loss.  I should have known better than to go out on a night like that.  He threw a couple punches, the 3rd one finally connecting with my face.  I cocked back to punch him, but she took a step in between us, her blue eyes flashing a warning that he wasn’t worth it.  She was right.  He wasn’t.
Once the guy was kicked out of the club, I spent the rest of my night drowning in Lizzie’s eyes, attempting to get every bit of information I could get out of her as we danced together out on the floor.
“How old are you?” I whispered hotly into her ear.  It was the first question that came out of my mouth, despite not being overly interested in small talk and it was obvious she was old enough to drink without a fake ID.
She humored me any way and laughed.  “25.”
“Do you live around here?”
“I work for the city of Philadelphia,” she said plainly, not divulging anymore information about that.  Instead her hands slid up under my shirt, feeling like hot flames on my skin.  Any more questions I had on my brain quickly drained downward.  In one quick motion, my head dropped and my lips attached to hers.  My body jolted from the energy I suddenly felt.  It had been a long time since a woman rocked me that way.
An hour later we were back at my apartment and my lips were all over her tight body.  Her long, layered blonde hair covering my pillow case and the smell of her perfume still makes me stop in my tracks when the picture of that night floats into my mind.  A couple hours later, I woke-up and found that she had left.  The only evidence she left behind was her scent and a note that said she’d be in touch.
It was the first time I had wished the morning after had been different.

Now, reading the text message, my heart clenched.
There were only a few things I was certain about when it came to Lizzie.
  1. She was a police officer for the city of Philadelphia and looked smoking hot in her uniform.
  2. Lizzie was a wild child who always gave me a run for my money when we had sex.
  3. Lizzie only kissed me when she was drunk.
  4. Despite realizing very early on that she was not the settling kind, I was in-love with her.

A few moments later, I opened the door to my apartment to find her standing there with a hand on her hip and biting her lip.
As much as a part of me screamed stupidity, I smiled, reached out and pulled her into me, quickly shutting the door behind her. My lips crashed down onto hers, immediately tasting the familiar whiskey.  Furrowing my brows, I secretly cursed her for it.
Part of me knew that I was in a position to find someone who probably wasn’t carrying as much baggage, especially since my star was quickly on the rise.  The other part of me was quickly reminded how much I didn’t want anyone else as her fingers clawed at my t-shirt.
She jumped up on me; her jean-clad legs wrapped around my waist so that I could easily carry her over to the table in the hallway and drop her onto it.  Her hand shot out, clearing whatever had been on it, so that when it landed a loud crashing noise filled my ears.  Another vase broken.  I’d buy a million of them if she granted me another night with her…
Dropping her head backwards, I maneuvered my lips down her neck and to my favorite spot just above her collarbone.  Just like every time before, she left out a low moan when I grazed my tongue over her soft skin.  I placed a large hand on the other side of her neck, reminding how fragile she looked compared to my size.  Of course I couldn’t let that fool me because if anything, I was the fragile one when she was around.
“Matt…” she whined, running her fingers through my hair and pushing my face towards her cleavage.  I pressed my tongue between her tits, tasting the salt of her skin.  Reaching behind her, I easily untied the strings of her halter top, giving me more than enough room to devour her tits.  My tongue traced each nipple, causing them to perk up into perfect peaks.
Over the past several months of hook-ups, I had learned every spot that drove her crazy and what each noise she made meant.  In fact after the first couple times, I made it my job to learn, in hopes it would make her see that we could be something more than once and a while lovers.  But in less than a couple hours the heated passion would be over and one of us would be walking out the door, locking the door behind us and not talking until the next time she texted.
“Lizzie, please just stay,” I practically begged the one time in the wee-hours of the night.
She was standing at the bottom of my bed, hooking her bra back into place as her blonde hair covered her face.  I could still see the red marks on her neck and rib cage where I bit her not so lightly.
“Oh Matty, you know that I can’t do that.  Besides, that’s not what this is about.  You don’t even know me,” she easily pushed away my request.
I sat up and began climbing to the edge of the bed, not caring that the sheets had fallen off my naked body.  “That’s the point Liz, I want to know you,” I said steadily.
“Believe me, it’s a lot better that you didn’t.  I mean, look at you Matt, you have an amazing rookie year going for you, with a whole other world surrounding you…”
“Why can’t you fit into that world with me?” I interrupted her, standing up and putting myself in her personal space.  She turned her head and looked up at me, her blue eyes not giving up her position.
“You don’t need a girl like me,” she said with no emotion, obviously shutting herself off to me.
I didn’t see her for over a month after that, never returning my phone calls or text messages.
I thought of those shitty weeks while I carried her over to the couch and gently placed her on it.  Despite her liking it rough, I was in a mood of defiance tonight and refused to allow her to get her way on everything.  She was chewing on her finger when I pulled my shirt up over my head and undid my shorts, never losing eye contact with her.  God she’s beautiful.
“You are always so serious,” she play pouted, obviously trying to get me to lighten up.  I took a deep breath and laughed off her comment.
“If you only knew what you do to me,” I growled, straddling myself over top of her.
“Show me,” she challenged.
I took her hand and placed it on my cock that was hard as a rock.  She purred and immediately took over, stroking me in a not so gentle manner.  It was now my turn to drop my head backwards and groan.  My eyes rolled back into my head when I felt her warm mouth taking over.  Sucking me deep, I knew I would have blown my load early several times if I had been the rookie I was out on the ice, but in the bedroom, she made me a veteran.
Before she could make me cum, I pulled away from her and slid her to the edge of the couch, fucking her mercilessly, causing us both to cry out with every hit.  My hands held roughly onto her tits while her hands held tightly onto my waist.  I needed this release probably more than she did right now.  Too much frustration between the game we had just played and her had been building up in my veins.
Sure, the sex was amazing and there was no doubt in my mind that we had some of the best orgasms together, but I wanted more.
“How did you get into the force,” I asked on night in between sessions.  In a rare moment, her head was on my chest and allowing me to run my fingers through her hair.
I felt her lips curl up into a smile as she sighed.  “My daddy was an officer in Chicago.  I always wanted to be like him…”
“Chicago?  Did you grow up there?” I asked, once again reminding me that I didn’t know a damn thing about this woman who rooted herself into my dreams.
“I lived there until I was 5.  We moved to the outskirts of Philly after my Daddy died in the line of duty.”
“Oh, I’m sorry,” I whispered.
“It’s the job,” she said with no emotion, sending a chill through my spine. 
I had found out that she was a police officer a few weeks after our first hook-up.  After getting home from a game, I happened to pass her walking down the sidewalk near my apartment.  I said hi, but she only glared at me and pressed her lips together.  Later that night my doorbell rang and I found her standing in the hall in her uniform.
No sooner I opened the door, she began cursing me out.
“Don’t acknowledge me on the street.  I don’t need my partner asking questions and getting in my business,” she hissed.  “You don’t understand how hard it is to garner respect when you’re a female cop…”
I tried to apologize, but instead she turned and walked back out the door.
“Lizzie!” I called out after her.  She stopped, turned slowly back towards me.  With each step she took, her smile grew.  By the time she was back in front of me, there was no trace of the anger she had just thrown at me a minute earlier.
“I’m sorry,” she breathed into my neck.
Instead of acknowledging her apology or even thinking how fucked up her reaction was, I asked, “Are you off duty?”

So that’s how it was.  Fucked up.  On the ice I was the one controlling the situation, fighting for me and my teammates one battle at a time.  Off the ice, Lizzie was controlling me and everything about our non-existent relationship.  Even my teammates were noticing…
“I’m still waiting to meet this mystery woman who has you up until all hours of the night…” Simmer chirped me after bumping me into the boards.  Without even having to ask, I knew I probably looked like shit.
“The dark circles under your eyes give you away Reader,” Giroux laughed.  “But as long as it isn’t a game night, more power to ya buddy.”
A couple of them had actually met Lizzie that first night at the club, but I didn’t have plans on telling them that.  I didn’t want them recognizing her out on the street when she was on duty and go through the whole screaming match once again.  I didn’t want to risk scaring her away again.
I just smiled and shrugged my shoulders.
A few months later, Giroux confronted me outside of a bar we had been hanging out at.  Lizzie had texted me while I was in the middle of shooting pool and like the desperate man I had become, I made up an excuse and left.  Claude caught me before I got to my car.
I stopped as soon as I heard his voice and turned to face him.  “What’s up?” I asked, knowing I had regret written all over my face.
“You have got to drop her,” he said in a warning tone.  “I know where you are going.”
I opened my mouth to make an excuse, but nothing came out because I had no excuse.  “I’m in love with her.”
“Then you’re a better man than me if you allow her to keep fucking with your head like this…”
We stood looking at each other for a moment.  He was right.  I knew it.  But there wasn’t anything for me to say.  Letting his words soak in some more I finally spoke.  “No G, I’m not the better man.”  At that I turned back and got in my car, speeding off towards my apartment like I was a junkie, desperate to get a high.

“Fuck, yes!  Please Matt, don’t stop!” she screamed, pulling me deeper with her legs wrapped around my lower back.
I stopped in mid stroke, despite almost reaching my plateau.  Something had snapped inside of me.  With the playoffs coming up along with the added pressure to succeed on the ice, add in this whole mess; it was breaking me in two.
“Matt?” she panted questioningly.
“Do you love me?” I choked out.
Her beautiful blue eyes suddenly clouded as she furrowed her brow.  “What?”
“Do you love me, Lizzie?  I need to know.”
A heavy pause filled the building tension that I had suddenly brought into the room.  “It doesn’t matter if I do or not, Matt,” she said in a nonchalant tone that ripped my heart in two.
“It matters to me Lizzie.  I’m in love with you.”
As soon as the words were out of my mouth she wriggled backwards as if I had some kind of communicable disease and scrambled off my bed.  “I can’t do this,” she mumbled.  “I’m sorry Matt, but I just can’t do this.”
I quickly threw on a pair of jeans to follow her out of the apartment.  “Damnit Lizzie, why not?!  I know we could be so good together…”
“No, we couldn’t.  I could never be a hockey wife, standing there with a fake smile and fake laughter while working charity events.  My passion is out on the streets working as a police officer.  I’m not the woman who will wait at home for you.  That’s not me.” she snapped.
“It doesn’t have to be like that!” I called after her. 
Instead of saying anything, she just stood in the elevator; her lips, still bruised from my kisses, were pinched together as the doors shut.  Once again I was back to nothing.

This time the whole summer season went by…
My phone rang, breaking the silence that filled my bedroom.  It was 2am.
“I’m outside your door,” she said plainly and hung up.
I rolled out of my bed and walked to the door.  Taking a deep breath, I opened it and allowed her in.  Not even bothering to look at her, I turned and walked down the hall, cursing myself when I heard her put the chain on the door.  


  1. Why you have to be like that?
    Why you have to write things that make me frown?
    I do not like frowning.
    But that was really good. Yet depressing.
    I need to go read something sugary and sweet to get my mood up before I go to bed.
    So well-written!!!! :)

  2. It took me forever to find this....Blogger erased all of my follows when it went to the new format... I was cursing blogger for quite a while....

    But I loved this... And I didn't even replace Read with someone else... Damn Aid! Nice when the tables are turned....

    Keep up these one shots cuz I miss you!

    1. LOL... glad to hear that you didn't have to do any replacements!

      And thank you for the love. I definitely miss writing...I have at least one more one-shot up my sleeve to post within the next week or two. :)